


Puns are Sexy

by BlueDysania



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Implied Smut, Implied dom/sub relationship, Knock-Knock Jokes, M/M, Razz Indulges, Razz Tells a Pun, Romance, Sans is a Silly Skellie, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDysania/pseuds/BlueDysania
Summary: Razz is disgusted by a new personal development. On the other hand, Sans couldn't be more in love with him.





	Puns are Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> this is a new, revised, and slightly expanded version of the former drabble 'Puns are Sexy'. please enjoy!

Razz slammed the door closed behind him, kicking his boots off and stalking toward the living room. Then did an abrupt about-face in order to straighten his boots next to a pair of roughed-up pink sneakers. The absence of a pair of white and red sneakers and blue boots lined up as well made him pause. _Ah, right_. It was Tuesday wasn't it? That meant that Blue had gone to train with his Alphys and no doubt Red had been dragged along as well. Blue seemed adamant to keep his lover in shape after that holiday binge mustard drinking.

Just thinking about the disgusting mess he and Blue had arrived home to that night made him shudder. Luckily Sans had listened to his strict warning against over-indulging in ketchup and there hadn't been a need to punish him during the holidays... too much. He didn't reward foolish pranks involving glitter cannons and it had taken forever to get all of the particles out of his joints. Not that Sans had protested his punishment, Razz thought with a smirk as he remembered the endearing blue glow that had infused his pet whilst he'd lathered and rinsed his bones to utter perfection again.

Nonetheless, just remembering the gritty feeling of miniscule particles between his joints reminded him of his pre-existing feelings of disgust with himself. Eager to simply sit on the couch and regret his life choices, he darted through the house, checking the locks and defenses he, and Red he'd discovered one particular night he'd come home late, had put into place. Satisfied that nothing had been tampered with, he turned into the living room where he found Sans snoozing with a bottle of ketchup cradled in his arms.

Eye twitching at the sight and memory of Red drunk out of his skull surrounded by mustard bottles not to long ago, he made a mental note to enforce much stricter drinking rules in their house. Sans might have been following his rule of not over-drinking but there was a line that his pet consistently tip-toed and Razz was no longer amused by it.

Firmly deciding that he could deal with that mission later, he strode to the couch and sat down. A moment of stillness and then he flicked Sans on the forehead, not unkindly.

If he was going to be miserable, he thought watching Sans startle awake and give him a wounded, bleary look, he would not be doing so alone.

"g-geez, razz..." Sans yawned, "... what's got you in a mood?"

Razz groaned.

* * *

"-and he just kept going and going! I could have throttled the mutt!" Razz hissed, clenching his hands in the air.

"well, that sounds awful." Sans sounded completely unsympathetic, Razz thought, twitching his clawed fingers, "but it's not that unusual for Slim, is it? what's got ya worked up, huh?"

Razz dropped his hands into his lap, feeling a rare sensation of defeat. "Not only did I get every single one of those Stars damned puns... in the end... I told him a better _knock-knock joke_." Razz said, every word dripping with disgust. He raised his hands and stared at his clawed phalanges. Stars, what had become of him? He was the Malicious Razz... the Malicious Razz did not tell knock-knock jokes!

The continued silence however cast his eyelights toward Sans and he raised a browbone at the glittering heart-shaped ones that met him.

Sans grabbed his hand, Razz was gratified to see that Sans first set his ketchup bottle securely on the coffee table first, and yanking it to press against his chest, "oh my Stars, _Razz_. you are _so_ sexy right now."

Razz stared at his love-struck lover with growing disbelief, "... Really?" To his further disbelief, a glowing blush was blossoming across Sans' cheekbones. Was Sans... getting turned on by him outwitting his brother in puns?

Sans scooted forward, nearly crawling into his lap, the blush growing brighter as his grin widened, "tell me the knock-knock joke."

Apparently, yes, he was. Razz smirked, settling his hands on Sans' hips out of habit to steady him, dragging him fully into his lap. "Really now? You want me to make a joke, pet?" He raised a hand to massage the base of Sans' spine, "Does that excite you?"

"come oooon... Razz, say it." Sans whispered, leaning forward to clink a kiss to Razz's jaw.

Wow, this was... sad? No, mostly it was very amusing. And a little sad. Razz sighed, "I will not utter that embarrassing excuse for humor again. However... I think I can stomach a simple pun at the moment."

Abruptly throwing Sans down onto the cushions, he straddled him firmly and pinned his wrists at his side. To his amusement, Sans' was nearly vibrating under him, eagerly looking to him to follow through. However, he had been looking for something in-particular and realized that the blue glow seemed isolated to Sans' skull.

Razz rolled his eyelights inwardly. It wasn't even a kink! Sans was just excited to hear him make a pun!

The things he did for his mate. He should be rewarded. In fact... he would be. And if there wasn't going to be sex now there most definitely would be later. Razz licked his fangs, studying the temptingly blushing skeleton beneath him. Oh, the plans he had. He had a figurative treasure chest of toys ready... but he would need to wait for a night Blue and Red would be gone. Let no one say he was not considerate to their housemates. He intended to make his dear pet _scream_.

"Razz." Sans whined, beginning to push against his hands.

Ah, right. He needed to be gracious first... but he wasn't going to deny himself a treat either. With the travesty he was about to commit, he needed one.

Leaning down, licking along the cervical vertebrae and savoring Sans' taste, he whispered huskily, "You must really like these cheesy puns, " he nipped at them lightly as he finished, " since it looks like you're feeling _grate_."

As Sans surged upwards, he allowed the smaller skeleton to crush him close, allowing himself to internally relish the close contact. He absently licked along Sans' clavicle, humming against the bone as Sans squealed in happiness. As his pet babbled blissfully, he chuckled and murmured against the bone between his fangs, "You're such a freak."

"i love you _berry_ much too, razzberry!"

Fuck it. His housemates could sleep at Alphys', Razz decided as he reached for his phone in his pocket, purring at the thought of everything he was going to do to the skeleton below him tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Questions, Comments, and Requests at [BlueDysania](http://bluedysania.tumblr.com/).


End file.
